Siricha Pochu!

Bored and jaded, I was looking at my FB profile reading through some old notes.
In heaps of garbage, I found this gold nugget!

Way back, long long ago(in 2012), we had an elective called Professional Ethics in our final year of Engineering.
What were we taught? No one ever knew.

It was a green book with loads and loads of examples about accidents and disasters that happened around the world.Very abasagunam book it was.

But, that was THE MOST entertaining subject I’ve ever studied in Engineering. All credits to the professor who handled it.
No disrespect to him, but when people are like that, we cannot restrain ourselves from spreading their glory. I’m sure each one of us would have had some teacher who said ‘I cannot able to’ and ‘Principal rotating on rounds in corridor’.
Honestly, this is no exaggeration. This is from the notes that I and my friends diligently took during the class.

Okay, now, let’s play the game Siricha Pochu!

For those who are unaware of the rules:

If you manage to read till the end without laughing, you win.

If not, I win. (You should put a ‘Like’, okay? 😀 )

Expert recommended tone/expression while reading(To experience what we actually had): Saroja Devi’s ‘Ei Watchman!’ style in Anbe Vaa.

Trial Run:

Look at this pix..Say ‘Ei Watchman’.

One more time, pretend you are her!

Now, you are ready!

Go!

• IF ANYONE DIE, THEY ANNOUNCE THE ‘MURMURING’ FOR ONE MONTH (Mourning)
• SOCIETICIAL ACTIVITIES (Social Activities)
• I SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY DOUBTFUL. DOUBTFUL SHOULD BE REDUCED.

Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki :

……..With my family I went to THE SICKIIM which is also called THE SICKAM. (Sikkim). We went to see the PRODUCTION OF GANGA AND BRAHMAPUTRA. THERE IS NO BUS PROVIDING ANYTHING .(No bus facility) Only military vehicle. In the SICKAM they grow lot of BUTTACOSE (=Muttacose = Cabbage)….The water is VERY CHILL-COOL WATER( *With both hands on cheeks*). I GO HIMALAYAS also. In that GANJANJUNGA IS THE SECOND HIGHEST TOWER IN WORLD. You know GANJANJUNGA tower? ….There ONE OF THE MY GRANDMOTHER NOT GRANDMOTHER, MY RELATIVE GRANDMOTHER…. (Means: An old lady in his family)………

Sir on religion ,philosophy and life:

VIRCHEWS IN YOUR WHOLE SOUL BODY 
YOU HAVE FULL OF SIN IN YOUR BODY

“Christians should read Christian Bible.

You should read YOUR OWN RELIGION BIBLE.”

RELIGIOUS BEELIPS (Beliefs)

THERE ARE LOT OF CASUALITIES IN CHRISTIANITY (Ayyago!)

“INNER OFFICIALS OF INNABLES”

 

• HUMANS ARE COMMITTED TO MISTAKES
• BEFORE B.C years
• SOME HIDDEN FACTOR YOU MAY LOSS (Heavy loss!!! 😦 )
• THEY ARE NOT HURT ANYBODY
• WE SHOULD NOT COLLECT BAD FROM OTHERS 
• RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR HUMAN BEING
• KIDS ARE SURROUNDED BY ANGELS. KIDS IS NOT HAPPENED ANYTHING (Even God won’t know what he means)

Sir’s views on the United States of America:

U.S.A EARTH CONTROL DIPPERANT,OUR EARTH CONTROL DIPPERANT (Earth Condition? May be..)

 U.S TOOK A VERY GOOD DECISION…BUT, WE CANNOT SAY IT’S A VERY GOOD DECISION

BECAUSE OF HIM DECISION….THEY DON’T HAVE CORRECT DECISION IN THEIR MAIND

The Osama story:

 “The osama lived with a big palace, prodected by guards… People came down from the chooper(Chopper) .. All in the oval oppiss(Office) tensed and the Obama was in fullll mood (Ahmmm..).. After DNA test, The Osama was seen with death.. “

On Health, medicine and the human body:

• WHITE CELLS AND RED CELLS MUST GET DEACTIVATE (Never knew you could deactivate cells like an FB account)
• FOR BLOOD DONATION WE NEED TO DO CAMPHORING – When you donate blood next time, Ellarum karpooram ethungo..
• ‘ENZYMENTS’ IN FOOD (Our science teachers taught us wrong)

YOUR SHINENESS IN FAIRNESS CAPABILITIES 

• YOU WON’T BE IDENTIFY BY BODY STRUCTURE    
• PEOPLE ARE NOT PROVIDING SKIN TO REMATCH THEIR FACIAL

On Environmental Protection:

PLENTY OF WATER RESOURCE THERE, SO YOU CAN BULLT WHAT??

‘THERMAL POWER PLANT’ YOU CAN BULLT

• TV MAIN FLUG SWITCH IS KEEP ON-IT CAUSE 7 WATTS POWER WASTE 
• GULP OF PACIFIC (Orrey Gulp ah?!)

If you keep chaas in fridge for long time what will happen?

Tell me..what will happen?

All CHILLI WILL BE PASTED IN CHAASS. WE ARE ALL AGREE no?

• RESOWIRE-Reservoir
• ARROUNDED BY WATER-New Word found! Note it down

Miscellaneous Gyaan:

• YOU HAVE TO BE VERY VERY CAUTION
• THAT IS THE PROVEN(proof) I’VE TAKEN
• RIGHTS TO PRODUCT(protect)
• GET OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR (Hey! Who’s that sitting inside?)
• BISKATE(Britannia’s new launch, probably)
• WOMENS WAS KIND HAUNTED (Hearted)

KATE ON THE WALL

• WE ARE APPALIGIZ (apologize)
• MOST OF THEM DOESN’T AWARE

WHEN THEY GET OUT PARENTS, THEY SEE BEGGAR ACTIVITY 

• WE SHOULD HATS OFF FOR THE PEOPLE
• NOBODY SHOULD NOT AFFECT
• YOU SHOULD NOT BLAME ALL OF YOU (Un kuthama, En kuthama, Yaara naa kutham solvaen? 😥 )
• ASIANT- Ancient
• DEPENDANT ON DEPENDENCE – So, you’re double dependent here!!
• DIPPERANT OF  OPINION
• KEEP REMEMBER
• CHAACK PISS(No explanation for dirty words, we are good humans with ethical values)
• WE DOESN’T BE BEWARE
• TRY TO POLLOW
• ALL COMPANIES WILL OVER
• CONTROLLING OTHERSELF(Yourself…themself…himself..herself…OTHERSELF!)
• ‘SOME’ OF THE ‘FEW’ POINTS
• CONTENT – MEANS RIGHT OR WRONG , CONTEXT – MEANS WHY RIGHT, WHY WRONG?
• YOU MUST KEEP REMEMBER
• Hey..all of you! BE LISTEN ma-(Yeah, be that)
• PROJECTS GET DISTURBS
•  (* Pointing hand at someone*) See..HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY PERSON HE IS?!  (Aaha..arputham!)
•  DON’T THINK OF OTHERS ARE BIG ALWAYS
•  TO THE EVERYBODY
•  ACHOORING-Assuring

Dhivhya..why ma..why are you laughing?
*Looks at him, laughs again uncontrollably*
Get up ma..why are you laughing always? Tell the class no..all will laugh!
*Class laughs*
Ei..If anybody laughs, GO OUT OF THE PEOPLE!

Remember the game?

You lose? 😉

Anthroponomastics-A thorough analysis of the history of the geography of my name

“What’s this spelling?”

“How do you pronounce your name?”

“Haha….very funny!”

“Why this ‘H’ here?”

As people keep asking me about my name’s unique (strange/confusing/conflicting/odd) spelling,I’m now providing all details about it.

THE MOKKA MEANING  JUSTIFICATION

Dhivhya means divine.

Yes….I know you don’t agree.

People always love contrasts.Khatta-meetha,black and white and especially telugu’s  love pink pantu and green shirtu.

When

Vellapandian can be black (oh…please understand-it’s not colour discrimination)

Pacha kili cannot be a green parrot and

Chinna Ponnu can be 97 years young

I can be Dhivhya.

JUSTIFIED.No more cross questions.

KOLLYWOOD AND DIVYA

The name Divya and Tamil movies are inseparable.

Mani Ratnam’s Mounaraagam-Revathy -Divya

Kaadhal Kondaen-Sonia Agarwal-Divya (remember dhanush’s divya…divya…divya…divya dance?)

Autograph-Sneha-Divya

There are numerous other examples to show how this name is so notable and celebrated.

MORAL:The name Divya always signifies awesomeness and so do the people.Accept it.

THE H FACTOR

My mom added 2 H’s in my name to make it lucky for me.Numerology,she says.

Here are the explanations I give.

1)THE ‘ENNA CHATTI’ THEORY

It’s according to the actual Sanskrit pronunciation with emphasis on ‘ha’.So,don’t make fun of it.

If you do so it,you do a negative karma  by violating moral and ethical codes and it’s against Dharma,the moral order.

You would be cursed,sent to hell and deep  fried  in an ‘enna chatti’ (large frying vessel ) with 100% unrefined  coconut oil.

People get scared and they leave me alone.

2)THE I-WILL-MAKE-YOU-MAD EXPLANATION

Do you know numerology? It is a system that defines esoteric  relationship between numbers and  living things.

There is life path number,soul urge number,inner dream number and the numbe….the person runs away

3)THE ‘ Domaru Dapsa’ THEOLOGICAL SYSTEM

It’s top secret.The Swamiji’s who have been doing Tapas in Himalyas for the past 100 years have asked me not to reveal it to anyone because it’s spirituality is lost.

THE Vaayilaye nozhayaliye PRONUNCIATION GAME

1)They say dihi vihi yah that sounds like a TB patient coughing.

2)They give an expression as though they are suffering from nagging tooth ache and I clearly understand that it’s my name.

VALUE ADDED SERVICES

1)I get a perfect email id in gmail,yahoo and any other site.

I needn’t have to use dhivhya007, dhivhya_crazygirl, dhivhya18rocks, 53xydhivhyabuddy,dhiv_12r67i_hya that are even more scarier than my name’s spelling.

2)I can have a proper site address like dhivhya.wordpress.com 😛

3)I’m easily googlable.

4)There are minimum 3-4 Divyas in every class that I can remain quiet whenever my name is called out to answer questions.

Some other divya gets up and starts answering.

5)When someone calls this name,though I know clearly that the wanted divya is not me,I say,”Mam,I don’t know if it’s me.May I check it out and return?”-ESCAPE!

PRECAUTIONS:

1)To Boys:If your ‘aalu’ (not potato) is Divya,please write their initial while writing lovvu letters.There’s a greater chance of misinterpretation and you love life would become a complexly complicated confused chinese noodles.

If  her initial is ‘S’,I’m sorry 5 out of 10 Divyas are S.Divya

2)To girls:Don’t get over excited when your name is called.According to the Bejaara-Pootchu-pa  theory of common names,there is a probability of 0.00099  that the called Divya is you.

RECOMMENDATION:

If you ever be to Chennai and see a smart,beautiful,intelligent,naughty,confident,humorous,talented girl,please don’t ask “What is your name?”.

Ask,”Is your name Divya”.

The answer would be 9/10 times right!

The author is well experienced writer who has been a victim of  Divya confusions.

If  you have any objections,you are advised to blindly accept the facts.

Nene Raju

I happened to be to Tirupathi few days back( 365+ days) with my aunt and family.My uncle(1) at Hyderabad had arranged accommodation in a cottage for us there(of course,through some kind of influence-It’s India).

We reached the place and we were asked to meet a person named Ramalinga Raju(of course,not the Satyam guy).

My uncle(2) started the conversation,while I  stood there watching him with  opened mouth that a mosquito can enter,tour and exit.

“Excuse me Sir,May I meet Mr.Raju?”,he asked

“Nene Raju.Meeku Enti kavaali?Naaku Telugulo Cheppandi.”

All of us were  Telugu illiterates,except my aunt who was well versed with great vocabulary consisting words like akkada,ikkada,ledhu and undhi.

She said she  had forgotten the language,but convinced us that she could manage.

My uncle called her to speak with the man.

Aunt:”Sir Mr.Raju unnara?”

Raju:”Nene Raju!”

A:”Ledhu. Mr.Raju”

R:”Amma..Nene Raju!”

A:”Oddhandi..Nakku Raaju choodali”

R:”Nene Raju!”,he almost cried.

A:”Meeru oddhandi .Raaju gaaru ekkada unnaru”

R:”Amma…meeku arthamaaledha?Nene Raju.Meeku emi kaavali,cheppandi”, vexed.

Terribly confused,my aunt made a call to uncle(1).

A:”Hello…dei we are in thirupati da.Outside the cottage.But no one seems to understand telugu da.This is very bad!”,my aunt complained about the telugu born-brought up man’s inability to understand his own language.

He asked my aunt to give the phone to him, spoke something  for a minute and told my aunt that everything was fine.

Raju said,”Amma..Nenu  Rama Raju.Naa brotheru Ramalinga Raaju.Meeru lopala randi ”

A:”Naaku Rama raju Odhdhandi. naaku Ramalinga Raju kaavali”

The man got ultra-baffledu and asked us to wait a nimitttu.

He came back with another man.

RR:”Nenu Raju.Meeru lopala vellandi”

She got tensed,”Raamaaa…..raju ekkada unnaru?”

RR:”Vaadu Rama Raju,naa brotheru.Nenu Ramalinga Raaju-vaadu brotheru”

A:”Naaku Raju choodali!”

RR:”Nene  Raju!!”