Crucial Craziness

Siricha Pochu!


Bored and jaded, I was looking at my FB profile reading through some old notes.
In heaps of garbage, I found this gold nugget!

Way back, long long ago(in 2012), we had an elective called Professional Ethics in our final year of Engineering.
What were we taught? No one ever knew.

It was a green book with loads and loads of examples about accidents and disasters that happened around the world.Very abasagunam book it was.

But, that was THE MOST entertaining subject I’ve ever studied in Engineering. All credits to the professor who handled it.
No disrespect to him, but when people are like that, we cannot restrain ourselves from spreading their glory. I’m sure each one of us would have had some teacher who said ‘I cannot able to’ and ‘Principal rotating on rounds in corridor’.
Honestly, this is no exaggeration. This is from the notes that I and my friends diligently took during the class.

Okay, now, let’s play the game Siricha Pochu!

For those who are unaware of the rules:

If you manage to read till the end without laughing, you win.

If not, I win. (You should put a ‘Like’, okay? 😀 )

Expert recommended tone/expression while reading(To experience what we actually had): Saroja Devi’s ‘Ei Watchman!’ style in Anbe Vaa.

Trial Run:

Look at this pix..Say ‘Ei Watchman’.

sar

One more time, pretend you are her!

sar

Now, you are ready!

Go!

  • IF ANYONE DIE, THEY ANNOUNCE THE ‘MURMURING’ FOR ONE MONTH (Mourning)
  • SOCIETICIAL ACTIVITIES (Social Activities)
  • I SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY DOUBTFUL. DOUBTFUL SHOULD BE REDUCED.

Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki :

……..With my family I went to THE SICKIIM which is also called THE SICKAM. (Sikkim). We went to see the PRODUCTION OF GANGA AND BRAHMAPUTRA. THERE IS NO BUS PROVIDING ANYTHING .(No bus facility) Only military vehicle. In the SICKAM they grow lot of BUTTACOSE (=Muttacose = Cabbage)….The water is VERY CHILL-COOL WATER( *With both hands on cheeks*). I GO HIMALAYAS also. In that GANJANJUNGA IS THE SECOND HIGHEST TOWER IN WORLD. You know GANJANJUNGA tower? ….There ONE OF THE MY GRANDMOTHER NOT GRANDMOTHER, MY RELATIVE GRANDMOTHER…. (Means: An old lady in his family)………

Sir on religion ,philosophy and life:

VIRCHEWS IN YOUR WHOLE SOUL BODY 
YOU HAVE FULL OF SIN IN YOUR BODY

“Christians should read Christian Bible.

You should read YOUR OWN RELIGION BIBLE.”

ImageRELIGIOUS BEELIPS (Beliefs)

THERE ARE LOT OF CASUALITIES IN CHRISTIANITY (Ayyago!)

“INNER OFFICIALS OF INNABLES”

 Image

  • HUMANS ARE COMMITTED TO MISTAKES
  • BEFORE B.C years
  • SOME HIDDEN FACTOR YOU MAY LOSS (Heavy loss!!! 😦 )
  • THEY ARE NOT HURT ANYBODY
  • WE SHOULD NOT COLLECT BAD FROM OTHERS 
  • RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR HUMAN BEING
  • KIDS ARE SURROUNDED BY ANGELS. KIDS IS NOT HAPPENED ANYTHING (Even God won’t know what he means)

Sir’s views on the United States of America:

U.S.A EARTH CONTROL DIPPERANT,OUR EARTH CONTROL DIPPERANT (Earth Condition? May be..)

 U.S TOOK A VERY GOOD DECISION…BUT, WE CANNOT SAY IT’S A VERY GOOD DECISION

BECAUSE OF HIM DECISION….THEY DON’T HAVE CORRECT DECISION IN THEIR MAIND

rofl

The Osama story:

 “The osama lived with a big palace, prodected by guards… People came down from the chooper(Chopper) .. All in the oval oppiss(Office) tensed and the Obama was in fullll mood (Ahmmm..).. After DNA test, The Osama was seen with death.. “

Image

On Health, medicine and the human body:

  • WHITE CELLS AND RED CELLS MUST GET DEACTIVATE (Never knew you could deactivate cells like an FB account)
  • FOR BLOOD DONATION WE NEED TO DO CAMPHORING – When you donate blood next time, Ellarum karpooram ethungo..
  • ‘ENZYMENTS’ IN FOOD (Our science teachers taught us wrong)

YOUR SHINENESS IN FAIRNESS CAPABILITIES 

giphy

  • YOU WON’T BE IDENTIFY BY BODY STRUCTURE    
  • PEOPLE ARE NOT PROVIDING SKIN TO REMATCH THEIR FACIAL

On Environmental Protection:

PLENTY OF WATER RESOURCE THERE, SO YOU CAN BULLT WHAT??

‘THERMAL POWER PLANT’ YOU CAN BULLT

joker-clap

  • TV MAIN FLUG SWITCH IS KEEP ON-IT CAUSE 7 WATTS POWER WASTE 
  • GULP OF PACIFIC (Orrey Gulp ah?!)

If you keep chaas in fridge for long time what will happen?

Tell me..what will happen?

All CHILLI WILL BE PASTED IN CHAASS. WE ARE ALL AGREE no?

115203

  • RESOWIRE-Reservoir
  • ARROUNDED BY WATER-New Word found! Note it down

Miscellaneous Gyaan:

  • YOU HAVE TO BE VERY VERY CAUTION
  • THAT IS THE PROVEN(proof) I’VE TAKEN
  • RIGHTS TO PRODUCT(protect)
  • GET OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR (Hey! Who’s that sitting inside?)
  • BISKATE(Britannia’s new launch, probably)
  • WOMENS WAS KIND HAUNTED (Hearted)

KATE ON THE WALL

tumblr_llnort2pX41qae6ufo1_500

  • WE ARE APPALIGIZ (apologize)
  • MOST OF THEM DOESN’T AWARE

WHEN THEY GET OUT PARENTS, THEY SEE BEGGAR ACTIVITY 

  • Blackadder-Confused-LookWE SHOULD HATS OFF FOR THE PEOPLE
  • NOBODY SHOULD NOT AFFECT
  • YOU SHOULD NOT BLAME ALL OF YOU (Un kuthama, En kuthama, Yaara naa kutham solvaen? 😥 )
  • ASIANT- Ancient
  • DEPENDANT ON DEPENDENCE – So, you’re double dependent here!!
  • DIPPERANT OF  OPINION
  • KEEP REMEMBER
  • CHAACK PISS(No explanation for dirty words, we are good humans with ethical values)
  • WE DOESN’T BE BEWARE
  • TRY TO POLLOW
  • ALL COMPANIES WILL OVER
  • CONTROLLING OTHERSELF(Yourself…themself…himself..herself…OTHERSELF!)
  • ‘SOME’ OF THE ‘FEW’ POINTS
  • CONTENT – MEANS RIGHT OR WRONG , CONTEXT – MEANS WHY RIGHT, WHY WRONG?
  • YOU MUST KEEP REMEMBER
  • Hey..all of you! BE LISTEN ma-(Yeah, be that)
  • PROJECTS GET DISTURBS
  •  (* Pointing hand at someone*) See..HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY PERSON HE IS?!  (Aaha..arputham!)
  •  DON’T THINK OF OTHERS ARE BIG ALWAYS
  •  TO THE EVERYBODY
  •  ACHOORING-Assuring

Dhivhya..why ma..why are you laughing?
*Looks at him, laughs again uncontrollably*
Get up ma..why are you laughing always? Tell the class no..all will laugh!
*Class laughs*
Ei..If anybody laughs, GO OUT OF THE PEOPLE!

pic

Remember the game?

You lose? 😉

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CAPTCHA Prabhakaran-Part I


CAPTCHA Prabhakaran , fondly called CP is a tech savvy-super intelligent-bright-wise-Machiavellian nerdy guy who humbly calls himself a ‘saadarana manusan’- a normal human.

25 years back….

Thunder…Rain….Storm…Lightening…

Conversation in hospital

CP’s dad:(crying)Doctor….save my wife and baby!!!

Doc: What happened Sir? What’s the problem?

Dad:Can’t you see doctor?My wife’s got labour pain.

Doctor: But sir,I saw you with another pregnant lady last month.

Dad: Ah…yeah.She was my wife.

Doc:What?

Dad:Adhu pona maasam….Idhu indha maasam.   Anngg….™

Doc:Oh god….Okay.I’ll try my  best.But….But…

Dad:What?What’s the problem?Evlo selavaanalum paravaala. I’m not gonna pay anyway.

Doc:Not that Sir…But..

Dad:Tell me!

Doc:I’m a VETERINARY DOCTOR!

Dad: Good Heavens! I’m anyway expecting something close to an animal!

 Baby cries- Anngg….™Anngg…. ™Anngg….™Anngg….™

Our CP is born! He was born when his mom was 5 months pregnant-because he has to save the world and wipe away the miseries of its people.

 He grew up like a normal guy. He loved Math and Science. He dimmed the scorching sun to understand global warming, he drove cycle in rain and argued that this was the real water cycle. He even poured water onto his multiplication table book and cried this was what water table actually meant. The teachers were dumbstruck. They saw a budding Einstein in him.

Everything went fine until….

School Principal: Prabha!!Get out of the school.

CP: Yov Princi…waat is dhee pig deel nowww?

Princi:What did you do at the chemistry lab?

CP: Ah..nodhinggg.Jest eggspermending.

Princi:You call that experimenting?

CP: Yes!!When Karunanidhi gan gall Kanimozhi innosant, when Dr.Srinivasan gan gall himself a power-star, when Vijay gan gall Velayutham a hit,when Big Boss fame Agnivesh gan gall himself a Swamiji and…when you gan gall yuvarself a principal, why gan’t I gall that eggspermending.?(Gasping for breath)   Anngg….™

Princi: Stop jabbering, useless brat! Yesterday, you locked the chemistry lab, started filling a pipette with an ink-dropper and  made the lab assistant wait until 3 at night,threatening that you would kill him if he moved. Right?

CP :Ah…yes.Avanukku poruma na enna solli kuduthen.

Princi: And what did you write in your test?

CP: What test?

Princi:Your chemistry teacher says you’ve written foul and unparliamentary words in your paper.Arsole, Carnallite, Dickite, Moronic acid, Uranate…How sick!Why don’t you behave properly Prabha?

CP:(With RED eyes,Puffy Cheeks)Eiiii man…gall me CP!!

Princi: Dei!Your stupidity doesn’t end here.Why did you open the extinguisher on the teacher?

CP: Yenybady gan give protecson..but accident nadakarthukku munnadi padhugaapu kudukaravan thaan unmaiyaana ‘protractor’.Anngg….â„¢

Princi: I can stand no more of your nonsense.Get out of the school.NOW!!!

CP:Loss…Enakku illa,unakku!Varattuma?? Anngg….â„¢

CP’s dad gladly accepted his son’s decision of quitting school education and he even called it ‘Parambara pera kaapathardhu’(Carrying on the family name).

But CP could not put a full-stop to his inquisitiveness. He bought a computer from Moore Market exchanging 6.022 x 10^23 Kg of dates his mother gave him to eat in a day.

He started studying computers day and night, dawn to dusk-without even lifting his head up to see Sharad Pawar being slapped or Vidya Balan’s sacred dance. He studied Astrophysics and Statistics, applied their theory in Genetics and became a geeky computer programmer.

He knew all the computer languages that existed and also those that would be invented.He created his own language-MacroHard  in competition to Bill Gates’ MicroSoft.He developed an operating System to benefit the people of Chennai Slums.It used terms like

‘Moodinu Po’ for ‘Turn Off’,

’Innoru Dhaba Thattu’ for Re-enter,

’Thorandhu Kaatu Maamu’ for Open etc..etc.

Apart from Chemistry and Computers ,CP had expertise in Physics too.

He proposed theories challenging almost every great physicist(though no greater than him) the world had seen.

He proposed  the  universally acclaimed 4th Law of Deflection

Similar to Galileo Galilei’s demonstration of gravity at the leaning Tower of Pisa,CP demonstrated his Law to the public.

Within a short span of time,his popularity spread faster than Swine flu. Scientists praised him. He was short-listed for the Nobel, but he refused to accept as  the name was mocking his granny who had No teeth.

Girls became crazy and crazy.He received millions of love cards everyday that the Indian Postal Department decided to set up a separate postbox for the letters to CP.He became a huge sensation.

Then came a girl into his life…….

To be continued…..

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Why this Kolaveri da?


Yo Baais…Why should only girls have all the kolaveri?

 


(Sing along)

yo girls i am sing song

.

.
dupe song

.
swop song

.
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?

rhythm correct

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?

brain dismiss

why this kolaveri..da

 

distance la i sight-u sight-u
all cells-u excite-u
burning hole in heart-u heart-u
why’s he so damn smart-u?

 

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?

 

semma handsome boy-u boy-u
my sleep-u destroy-u
whenever i see him-u him-u
everything else-u dim-u

 

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?

 

summa patta kettukko
apdiye meaning purinjikko
pa pa paan pa pa paan pa pa paa pa pa paan
konjam yosi
super maama ready
ready 1 2 3 4

 

whaa nerayya change collection mama

 

ok maama now tune change-u

 

boys have-u
tasmac-bar-u
and-u oc cigar-u

 

poor-u girls-u
what-we have-u?
only dosa maavu

 

lovvu lovvu
oh my lovvu
beard-u I can’t grow-u

 

give-u give-u
reply give-u
i have to survive-u

 

correcting you-vu I don’t know-u

please tell me how-u

 

Anymore-u I can’t stand-u
Don’t you understand-u?

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?
why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da?

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