Crucial Craziness

Sondha Selevula Sooniyam alias Saguni


Kandha Kara Vada,Murukku, Masal Vada the hero sings and takes around very exotic places of our own Chennai.But,no.He doesn’t sell vadai.So,what does he actually do?Even god wouldn’t know.

Hero comes to Chennai to meet a minister to give a petition on the building of a bridge that would demolish his ancestral house.Wait..does it not sound like the story of a Vikram movie? Anna University Engineers develop better,original stories!

The story is so boring that I feel super bored to write that.Anyway,there’s absolutely nothing to say.

Hero befriends politicians,goondas and influential people just like that..like swallowing ghee dripping Tirunelveli halwa.He makes a rowdy-lady cum idly selling aachi a councillor, his auto driver friend-her PA,an imprisoned politician-a chief minister..yet he prestigiously remains a loafer.King maker it seems!Aaaaahh….

More details of the story would make the reader bang his/her on the computer screen.So,it’s better I don’t say.

First half  motivates you to abuse yourself in mind.If any person doesn’t feel so,it means its high time he visited a psychiatrist. By the end of this half,the director brings us to the edges of our seats,to get up and run away for the interval.

There’s one thing we need to appreciate the director for.He seems to be  a very socially responsible guy. He has been so kind to put in a song sequence right after the interval.People needn’t get up from their seats once again,you see.You get extended intermission time.(Point noted : Popcorn,Pizza,Sweetcorn etc etc shops in theaters made huge profits)

Santhanam’s comedy sequences,though not as funny as his previous bouts, are the only solace.Had he not been there,the theatre sweepers would have started work right after interval and gone home early.

The Gemini Gemini girl Kiran,(now in bloated mode) shows her face now and then along with villain Prakash Raj who does his usual screaming,terrorizing,Tata sumo travelling,sodukku putting,delivering dialogues challenging the hero,staring and frowning at camera etc etc.All known things,nothing new,that he had been doing since his last birth.Ada poya…

Every scene will make you say….Argghhhh….Aiyyyoooooo….Raaaamaaa..If you had hit your head for all irritating scenes,your forehead would have got a 6×6 inch large bump.

Anushka,Andrea,Radhika,Roja,Nazzer-thevaya? :-@

If you try finding loopholes in the movie,you will obviously fail.The whole  movie by itself is a big hole!Idhula loophole vera…

In 158 minutes,the director shows you what height of irritation is actually is.Never before in life,could’ve one got so much irritated.

For the only sake of paying for the tickets,spending Rs.120 for popcorn worth Rs.20 and travelling expenses, people sit till the end eagerly awaiting the  movie to end.Anga vepparu director oru twisttu…The movie will end before you realize it has actually ended.Less intelligent people like me will realize this only after people start running out to the exit.

By the way,did I miss something?Ya..the heroine.That girl is called Pranitha it seems.I googled the movie’s name and found it out.If we stick together the entire portions where she ‘comes’ (note-‘comes’) it won’t even cross 5 minutes.All what she does is-calls the hero Mama(Ada poma! :-/),dances for some rubbish songs,whose tunes you won’t even remember.I have seen this girl more on TV for the movie promo than in the movie.Her name deserves  a place only under the Guest Appearance list.

At the end,the feeling each person would get is-Poviya??Poviya??Poviya??And the movie is being released in 1154 theaters,and dubbed in telugu too!Enna Koduma Sir Idhu?

Had I not been a decent person,on the theatre screen-‘kalla eduthu adichiruppaen’!\

PS:Sorry for the over usage of Tamil words,spelling,grammar mistakes etc etc.This movie doesn’t deserve such care to write properly.

“Oru manushan erichal la polambum podhu,thai mozhi than varum!”

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CAPTCHA Prabhakaran-Part I


CAPTCHA Prabhakaran , fondly called CP is a tech savvy-super intelligent-bright-wise-Machiavellian nerdy guy who humbly calls himself a ‘saadarana manusan’- a normal human.

25 years back….

Thunder…Rain….Storm…Lightening…

Conversation in hospital

CP’s dad:(crying)Doctor….save my wife and baby!!!

Doc: What happened Sir? What’s the problem?

Dad:Can’t you see doctor?My wife’s got labour pain.

Doctor: But sir,I saw you with another pregnant lady last month.

Dad: Ah…yeah.She was my wife.

Doc:What?

Dad:Adhu pona maasam….Idhu indha maasam.   Anngg….™

Doc:Oh god….Okay.I’ll try my  best.But….But…

Dad:What?What’s the problem?Evlo selavaanalum paravaala. I’m not gonna pay anyway.

Doc:Not that Sir…But..

Dad:Tell me!

Doc:I’m a VETERINARY DOCTOR!

Dad: Good Heavens! I’m anyway expecting something close to an animal!

 Baby cries- Anngg….™Anngg…. ™Anngg….™Anngg….™

Our CP is born! He was born when his mom was 5 months pregnant-because he has to save the world and wipe away the miseries of its people.

 He grew up like a normal guy. He loved Math and Science. He dimmed the scorching sun to understand global warming, he drove cycle in rain and argued that this was the real water cycle. He even poured water onto his multiplication table book and cried this was what water table actually meant. The teachers were dumbstruck. They saw a budding Einstein in him.

Everything went fine until….

School Principal: Prabha!!Get out of the school.

CP: Yov Princi…waat is dhee pig deel nowww?

Princi:What did you do at the chemistry lab?

CP: Ah..nodhinggg.Jest eggspermending.

Princi:You call that experimenting?

CP: Yes!!When Karunanidhi gan gall Kanimozhi innosant, when Dr.Srinivasan gan gall himself a power-star, when Vijay gan gall Velayutham a hit,when Big Boss fame Agnivesh gan gall himself a Swamiji and…when you gan gall yuvarself a principal, why gan’t I gall that eggspermending.?(Gasping for breath)   Anngg….™

Princi: Stop jabbering, useless brat! Yesterday, you locked the chemistry lab, started filling a pipette with an ink-dropper and  made the lab assistant wait until 3 at night,threatening that you would kill him if he moved. Right?

CP :Ah…yes.Avanukku poruma na enna solli kuduthen.

Princi: And what did you write in your test?

CP: What test?

Princi:Your chemistry teacher says you’ve written foul and unparliamentary words in your paper.Arsole, Carnallite, Dickite, Moronic acid, Uranate…How sick!Why don’t you behave properly Prabha?

CP:(With RED eyes,Puffy Cheeks)Eiiii man…gall me CP!!

Princi: Dei!Your stupidity doesn’t end here.Why did you open the extinguisher on the teacher?

CP: Yenybady gan give protecson..but accident nadakarthukku munnadi padhugaapu kudukaravan thaan unmaiyaana ‘protractor’.Anngg….™

Princi: I can stand no more of your nonsense.Get out of the school.NOW!!!

CP:Loss…Enakku illa,unakku!Varattuma?? Anngg….™

CP’s dad gladly accepted his son’s decision of quitting school education and he even called it ‘Parambara pera kaapathardhu’(Carrying on the family name).

But CP could not put a full-stop to his inquisitiveness. He bought a computer from Moore Market exchanging 6.022 x 10^23 Kg of dates his mother gave him to eat in a day.

He started studying computers day and night, dawn to dusk-without even lifting his head up to see Sharad Pawar being slapped or Vidya Balan’s sacred dance. He studied Astrophysics and Statistics, applied their theory in Genetics and became a geeky computer programmer.

He knew all the computer languages that existed and also those that would be invented.He created his own language-MacroHard  in competition to Bill Gates’ MicroSoft.He developed an operating System to benefit the people of Chennai Slums.It used terms like

‘Moodinu Po’ for ‘Turn Off’,

’Innoru Dhaba Thattu’ for Re-enter,

’Thorandhu Kaatu Maamu’ for Open etc..etc.

Apart from Chemistry and Computers ,CP had expertise in Physics too.

He proposed theories challenging almost every great physicist(though no greater than him) the world had seen.

He proposed  the  universally acclaimed 4th Law of Deflection

Similar to Galileo Galilei’s demonstration of gravity at the leaning Tower of Pisa,CP demonstrated his Law to the public.

Within a short span of time,his popularity spread faster than Swine flu. Scientists praised him. He was short-listed for the Nobel, but he refused to accept as  the name was mocking his granny who had No teeth.

Girls became crazy and crazy.He received millions of love cards everyday that the Indian Postal Department decided to set up a separate postbox for the letters to CP.He became a huge sensation.

Then came a girl into his life…….

To be continued…..

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