Crucial Craziness

Rewind. Pause, Pause, Pause forever.

Children’s day again this year. As I travelled to office in the morning , I suddenly started feeling all nostalgic about the celebrations that we had in school, how we convinced teachers to not to teach that day, the programs that they did to make us happy, how we peeped from the corridors at the quadrangle to watch them.

How beautiful those days were! I couldn’t stop thinking how nice it would be if I could become a child again? That’s probably every adult’s far-fetched beautiful dream. I’m no different from the masses. How would life be if I were a child? ‘I were’ not ‘I was’. Some disorganized ideas that popped up.


 There wouldn’t be limits to my dreams. I could dream to become a sports star, I could dream to become a singer. I could dream to become a politician. To have such dreams now seems absurd.

I needn’t worry about finding/getting married to the right guy. How do you know if he ‘IS’ the right guy? What to do if I like more than I guy at the same time? (I asked this ‘very wise’ question to my mom a few days back and I was sternly admonished). No crush, no brush, no sight adiching, no heart throbbing. People would be put into uncle/aunty bucket, akka/anna bucket, thatha/paati bucket.As simple as Jil Jung Juck. End of relationships. Dot.


Almost in tears while making the first two buckets. Esp. Top most Anna in bucket 1 and right most uncle in bucket 2 😥 😥

☯ I needn’t have to worry about how I dress. Ironed? Presentable? Is it very conventional? I needn’t have to think if the dress is tight fitting or the neck is too low.. Will my dressing provoke someone to commit crimes? I needn’t have to worry who’s standing around me while traveling.At what distance is he standing? Where has he kept is hand? I needn’t try giving nasty looks to idiots gazing at me.(Bad taste I say!) Had I been a child, I wouldn’t have bothered. I would have looked back and smiled. Things would get disastrous if I try to do it now.


☯ Limited knowledge, unawareness about what’s happening around, not understanding economy and politics will not be something to be looked down upon. I needn’t spend hours trying to understand how a large hadron collider works or why the value of the rupee is decreasing. Not reading Jane Austen, Tolstoy, Gladwell and Paulo Coelho wouldn’t be a sin. Most of us read few books just to keep up with our joneses. Whether you gain anything is secondary. But you see, it is very much essential to have an intellectual discussion among other similar wise people like..‘You know what he says about meta thought process of  mind that book?’ ‘The mind is the powerhouse of the electricity multiplicity of duplicity’ ‘ According to Eugene Fama, the crisis of market inflation is the infatuation of price rise due to suspension of suspicion’. You are genuinely in such thing? Great. I know little too. But I may not be as good as you are. I am interested in my own set of things that interest me. Keep your knowledge with you and mind your business. Don’t try to make me feel small! :@


☯ I needn’t worry what is so and so’s perspective about leadership. Leadership? What? I was the class leader. I was happy with my powers to write names of talkative children on board (with +1, +1+1, +1000), collecting and distributing books and minding the class.


☯ I need not form opinions about everything happening around me. I don’t care about few a lot of things.I would no longer be solely responsible for my actions.
I wouldn’t feel guilty for over sleeping.I needn’t count  hours of sleepI would get before going to bed.
No one would talk behind my back. Even the embarrassing comments would be face to face.’Ei..your chemise is shown outside ya’.Okay, fine. No hard feelings at all.

☯ Money management. No money. What to manage?
Time management. All the time is mine. Why to manage?
Career Management? I eat off food that I love discreetly and I efficiently sell away other items I hate. That’s what you meant, right?

☯ Fears:
Fat PT Miss (Every school’s must have), Losing Water Bottles and Erasers, not finishing lunch and my math teacher asking me to recite 7 tables.
I also remember one another biggest fears I had. I was afraid I had/would get AIDS. My mom used to scold me always that I was a very careless girl. And  the AIDS awareness campaign was at peak those days. Apparently, the campaign said the main reason for AIDS is carelessness.


☯ My biggest worries would only be

  • Getting more marks than XYZ girl in English in Mid term test.
  • Uncut nails
  • No place in school van
  • Unpolished white canvas shoes
  • Uncovered notebooks
  • Not taking map on the day the teacher asks to
  • Getting caught for going in late.
  • Schools not declaring holidays during rains

☯ People would not be judgmental. No bias. No prejudices. If I write something, spelling mistakes and bad handwriting would only be the things that they would be comment about. Now each word spoken or written needs to be thought twice. Will it become controversial? Can I share this with this person? Is he trustworthy? Does she have a wrong opinion about me? Even if I try not to pay much heed to what others think, i’m finding it impossible stay oblivious to it.

Life was so good then. It’a good now too. But not as good as that. 😦

I only wish someone would invent an injection that will rewind 10 years of the lives of me, my sister and my parents and freeze it there.

(Note:I hold the copyrights of this idea. No science movie director can flick it away.)


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