Crucial Craziness

CAPTCHA Prabhakaran-Part I

on November 30, 2011

CAPTCHA Prabhakaran , fondly called CP is a tech savvy-super intelligent-bright-wise-Machiavellian nerdy guy who humbly calls himself a ‘saadarana manusan’- a normal human.

25 years back….

Thunder…Rain….Storm…Lightening…

Conversation in hospital

CP’s dad:(crying)Doctor….save my wife and baby!!!

Doc: What happened Sir? What’s the problem?

Dad:Can’t you see doctor?My wife’s got labour pain.

Doctor: But sir,I saw you with another pregnant lady last month.

Dad: Ah…yeah.She was my wife.

Doc:What?

Dad:Adhu pona maasam….Idhu indha maasam.   Anngg….™

Doc:Oh god….Okay.I’ll try my  best.But….But…

Dad:What?What’s the problem?Evlo selavaanalum paravaala. I’m not gonna pay anyway.

Doc:Not that Sir…But..

Dad:Tell me!

Doc:I’m a VETERINARY DOCTOR!

Dad: Good Heavens! I’m anyway expecting something close to an animal!

 Baby cries- Anngg….™Anngg…. ™Anngg….™Anngg….™

Our CP is born! He was born when his mom was 5 months pregnant-because he has to save the world and wipe away the miseries of its people.

 He grew up like a normal guy. He loved Math and Science. He dimmed the scorching sun to understand global warming, he drove cycle in rain and argued that this was the real water cycle. He even poured water onto his multiplication table book and cried this was what water table actually meant. The teachers were dumbstruck. They saw a budding Einstein in him.

Everything went fine until….

School Principal: Prabha!!Get out of the school.

CP: Yov Princi…waat is dhee pig deel nowww?

Princi:What did you do at the chemistry lab?

CP: Ah..nodhinggg.Jest eggspermending.

Princi:You call that experimenting?

CP: Yes!!When Karunanidhi gan gall Kanimozhi innosant, when Dr.Srinivasan gan gall himself a power-star, when Vijay gan gall Velayutham a hit,when Big Boss fame Agnivesh gan gall himself a Swamiji and…when you gan gall yuvarself a principal, why gan’t I gall that eggspermending.?(Gasping for breath)   Anngg….™

Princi: Stop jabbering, useless brat! Yesterday, you locked the chemistry lab, started filling a pipette with an ink-dropper and  made the lab assistant wait until 3 at night,threatening that you would kill him if he moved. Right?

CP :Ah…yes.Avanukku poruma na enna solli kuduthen.

Princi: And what did you write in your test?

CP: What test?

Princi:Your chemistry teacher says you’ve written foul and unparliamentary words in your paper.Arsole, Carnallite, Dickite, Moronic acid, Uranate…How sick!Why don’t you behave properly Prabha?

CP:(With RED eyes,Puffy Cheeks)Eiiii man…gall me CP!!

Princi: Dei!Your stupidity doesn’t end here.Why did you open the extinguisher on the teacher?

CP: Yenybady gan give protecson..but accident nadakarthukku munnadi padhugaapu kudukaravan thaan unmaiyaana ‘protractor’.Anngg….™

Princi: I can stand no more of your nonsense.Get out of the school.NOW!!!

CP:Loss…Enakku illa,unakku!Varattuma?? Anngg….™

CP’s dad gladly accepted his son’s decision of quitting school education and he even called it ‘Parambara pera kaapathardhu’(Carrying on the family name).

But CP could not put a full-stop to his inquisitiveness. He bought a computer from Moore Market exchanging 6.022 x 10^23 Kg of dates his mother gave him to eat in a day.

He started studying computers day and night, dawn to dusk-without even lifting his head up to see Sharad Pawar being slapped or Vidya Balan’s sacred dance. He studied Astrophysics and Statistics, applied their theory in Genetics and became a geeky computer programmer.

He knew all the computer languages that existed and also those that would be invented.He created his own language-MacroHard  in competition to Bill Gates’ MicroSoft.He developed an operating System to benefit the people of Chennai Slums.It used terms like

‘Moodinu Po’ for ‘Turn Off’,

’Innoru Dhaba Thattu’ for Re-enter,

’Thorandhu Kaatu Maamu’ for Open etc..etc.

Apart from Chemistry and Computers ,CP had expertise in Physics too.

He proposed theories challenging almost every great physicist(though no greater than him) the world had seen.

He proposed  the  universally acclaimed 4th Law of Deflection

Similar to Galileo Galilei’s demonstration of gravity at the leaning Tower of Pisa,CP demonstrated his Law to the public.

Within a short span of time,his popularity spread faster than Swine flu. Scientists praised him. He was short-listed for the Nobel, but he refused to accept as  the name was mocking his granny who had No teeth.

Girls became crazy and crazy.He received millions of love cards everyday that the Indian Postal Department decided to set up a separate postbox for the letters to CP.He became a huge sensation.

Then came a girl into his life…….

To be continued…..

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